Elly's lover

Hey, Elly.

Jane shivered with goosebumps at the unexpected abbreviation of her best friend’s name. In their friendship of ten years or so, Jane had never seen anyone call Elizabeth Elly, including herself. ‘Elly’ was just too cute a name to be used for the cool, cynical Elizabeth, Jane thought. Eccentric El, maybe. The clearly teenage-male-written handwriting, uneven and somewhat familiar, didn’t help either. The image of a boy calling her friend ‘Elly’, and her responding cheerfully was quite.. unnerving, yet interesting. Who was this guy? Was this a love letter?

…because I won't be able to see you in the face when I'm saying it to you. Elly, despite all the time we have spent together and all the love we have given each other, I think...I think..we should break up. I see no hope nor future in our relationship anymore.

..No, a breakup letter. That made things even more interesting. Jane had no idea how a private letter from a boy to Elizabeth ended up along the bookshelves of her home, but she was sure she could get some fun out of this. At any rate, many things happened in a close friendship; once Jane’s chemistry book, its cover thoroughly adorned with the name of her crush, ended up in Elizabeth’s home. As Elizabeth was subtle enough to inform Jane by waving it in front of the whole class, Jane had no intention of protecting her friend’s privacy. So she kept on reading.

….the image of you and Mitchell snuggling together…

Wow, ‘Elly’, some femme fatale! Jane gave an internal hoot, excited for the newfound aspects of her old friend. However, she was also beginning to feel bad for this guy. Mitchell? There were three Mitchells she knew, but none of them made sense. She felt as if she were a detective for the day, now pacing around the room.

…You know what? To be frank now breaking up with you, all the accouterments I bought you, the gems, food, restaurants, were actually fake. The time I told you that you look fabulous in front of the movie theater, I was actually talking to the Darth Vader statue. 

Jane’s literature skills from English class were kicking in. This guy sure is emotional, she observed. Although he intended to hurt Elizabeth by writing these sudden confessions, he clearly failed to notice that it instead showed how much he was clinging on to the remnants of the relationship. It was quite pitiful, yet earnest. Jane now felt really bad for the guy, and thought he deserved much better than Mitchell-snuggling Elizabeth.

....Everyday I told you "I love you". in the middle of sentences, but I would stop and wonder whether I was convincing myself. I love myself the most. One cannot love another, if he does not love himself. I love myself sincerely. So, the fact that I was not sincere to you means that you were simply just not lovely enough for me to love you. Believe me, I tried. Really hard. YOU made it impossible. Have you ever tried to care about my interests? Do you know my favorite car is a green Tico?

This paragraph was an extension of the last, only more intense and detailed in self-justification, Jane analyzed. There was no arguing that Jane was enjoying herself now, almost as much as she sympathized. When was this written? Who could be this Tico-loving romantic nerd of the century? The fact that he likes Ticos may actually have some effect in narrowing candidates. The only reason Jane knew of the car was because her dad was an enthusiast; she doubted there would be more than 5 people around Elizabeth who knew the ancient model.

…You never show any effort to tell me you love me. Have you ever loved me at all? Well, I'm starting to doubt it. But then again, your answer to this question is no longer important. You've lost your chance, and it's too late. Do you feel the pain? The stabbing at your heart? Yeah, I'm feeling it too, only hundred times worse. You should regret for not loving me as much you could've done. I don't think you can find a better person than me. You have my words.

Then, get lost, my sweetest but most painful memory.

 The letter had so much emotion that Jane felt as if she were peeking into something that shouldn’t be witnessed. She felt embarrassed and fluttery, yet seized by an urge to laugh out loud at the whole thing. Guilt and a sense of betrayal permeated through her mind, and she was beginning to have worries about facing Elizabeth the next day. When since did you have such an ardent relationship?, Jane wondered. She could feel her face forming a weird expression. It was a relief no one else was in the house.

Then she jumped at the sound of sudden door-opening. Apparently, her dad had arrived from work while she was engulfed in the letter.

“Jane, your mother said she was going to be late, so for dinner-What’s that?”

“Uh..”

 Jane stared nervously at the crumpled piece of paper in her hands and then at her dad, who was frowning in worry and curiosity. Awkward silence ensued, until he started to walk her, right hand stretched out. Jane started to blurt out explanations, but the letter slipped into her dad’s hands.

“It’s not mine! It- it’s from some boy to my friend Elizabeth, and somehow it got here. I think it’s supposed to be a breakup letter, but it’s really corny and funny but I shouldn’t have read it anyway- you shouldn’t read it either- and I think I want pizza for supper.”

Her recent guilt made its way directly into her speech, and she freaked out even though there wasn’t really a reason to. However, as she calmed down, Jane noticed that she wasn’t the only one who was freaking out: her dad’s face was turning purplish as he read. He turned to her with a devastated expression.

“Jane, did you read all of this?”

“I..didn’t really know what it was.. But yes, I did.”

“You really shouldn’t have, you know. You should have checked- and cared- it wasn’t right-“

He seemed to be trying to scold her, but he was choking on his own words. Did fathers normally react like this in these situations?

“I’m sorry, dad. I’ll make sure I apologize.”

“It’s fine. Now I’ll take care of this for you.”

He turned back and rushed out of the room with the letter. Now Jane was really confused. She stood there for a moment, watching the back of her father without a grasp of what to do. Why would he be so upset? Sure, reading other’s letters was bad, but was there any reason he himself had to take the letter? It was like he cared about the matter in a weird way, apart from Jane or Elizabeth. Like he had an independent personal relationship with the letter-

Then realization dawned on her; there was another Elizabeth she knew

“No way.”

 -Her mother.

“Dad, did you write-“

“Jane, what are you talking about? Why would I write such a letter to your friend? If you’re saying that just because my first name is same with the sender’s, that might as well be a coinci-“

“I never said anything about the name, because it wasn’t written on the letter. And not for my friend Elly, but another Elly, dad! YOUR Elly!”

“Oh, Jane, I swear it’s not- no-“

“Come on, dad! Why would you not admit this? This is a letter you wrote to mom about, what, 25 years ago, right?”

Jane was triumphant. It all made sense now. ‘Elly’, the familiar handwriting, the green Tico, the slightly yellow envelope that was mistaken for a vintage-style. Her father took a big gulp and opened his mouth to speak, but no word was voiced. He only shook his head. She had never seen him so flustered before.

“What?”

“…Because it’s just so embarrassing!”

He sighed and dryly ran his hands over his face before continuing.

“It reminds me of how much of a loser I was, and you’re my daughter, Jane. And for the record, this wasn’t sent. As I was running to your mother’s house to deliver this letter, I tripped over a rain puddle, wailed about love in the middle of the sidewalk right there, and decided there was no way I could do without her no matter what. That’s just about how pathetic I was. I have no idea how this got here.”

He made a pained grin. Jane also noticed that her dad couldn’t keep his hands still, as if remembering his shameful past but being unable to make amendments was causing him extreme distress. As for Jane, she couldn’t help but giggle sporadically. The image of her parents young, foolish and infatuated with love was quite awkward and unimaginable, yet funny and happy at the same time. But there was one more thing to be settled.

“What about the Mitchell guy?”

“Oh, it turned out that it was Elly’s- your mother’s idea of.. flirting. In retrospect, she was being really immature. Probably due to her popularity, I guess. Since I didn’t know what to do, I cut contact with her for a month and suffered privately. She eventually got scared it was going to end like that and apologized to me with tears on a rainy day. Then we made up. If I had sent the letter, it would have been the real end of us.”

This time, Jane couldn’t help but enter a fit of laughter. The story wasn’t very funny in itself, and things like that happened in Jane’s school too. However, the fact that Jane’s practical, gentle father and witty, smart mother were actually silly, passionate Ben and Elly made it impossibly hilarious. Her dad’s red ears also contributed to the pricelessness of the situation. She loved her parents so much. When she was finally done laughing, she felt warm and genuinely hungry.

“Hey dad, I’ve changed my mind. Let’s have pasta.”

Oh, and make sure we don’t go to “fake” restaurants with “coupons”! Jane added cheerfully, and Ben groaned.

+

It had been a long day at work for Elizabeth. She tiptoed into the dark house, trying not to wake her family. She was making her way through by grabbing at walls and bookshelves when she stepped on a piece of paper. It was partially crumpled, and functioned like a banana peel in a comic book, making her lose balance and fall on her tailbone. The sound wasn’t big, but the impact was big enough to make one from tired to furious. Couldn’t her family have been more cautious to keep the floor clean? They didn’t even wait for her to come home before sleeping. She swore to rip up the freaking thing-whatever it was-when she got to the bathroom.

But when she really got to the bathroom, she couldn’t help but laugh in happy surprise. It was something she had been looking for: the “breakup” letter from Ben. She didn’t get it directly from the writer, but came across it at his house after they made up. It was fortuitous chance. Ever since, she had kept the letter as a reminder of their teenage days and how much he loved her. It helped her smile and keep warm on hard days, before it disappeared and she got too busy to look for it. To find it on a tired day like this certainly helped, at least enough to forget how much her back hurt. She decided to forgive her husband and daughter for today; the Darth Vader part was too ridiculous to hold a grudge.